If Barack Obama's silver lining continues to tarnish and John McCain's nose continues to grow, many voters will find themselves checking out the platforms of Ralph Nader and Bob Barr.
George Washington never chopped down a cherry tree. His teeth weren't wooden, either.
But he was still able to become president. Heck, his picture is on the $1 bill.
Logic would tell us that John McCain will be the next president, and his running mate may be his partner in storytelling, Hilary Clinton.
McCain is having some issues with his memory. If it isn't because of his rapidly approaching 72nd birthday, it may be because of his wife.
His first problem came when a reporter asked him how many homes he owned. McCain had to pass.
Apparently beer-distribution heiress Cindy McCain never told the Republican presidential candidate how many homes they own.
She also seems to have misremembered how she decided to adopt their daughter, Bridget. The popular story, which at one time appeared on the campaign Web site, said that Mother Theresa personally convinced her to seek medical care for two young girls. One of those girls is now their daughter.
But Mrs. McCain didn't meet Mother Theresa, who was in Mexico when Cindy McCain was on her medical mission to Bangladesh.
But the group did spend time at the mission Mother Theresa had founded. Maybe Cindy saw the beatified nun's likeness in a bowl of rice.
Forgetting the circumstances surrounding the adoption of your daughter is almost as difficult to understand as when Clinton "forgot" that snipers were not actually shooting at her airplane in Bosnia.
McCain and Clinton could join forces and create the "Not Exactly" party.
McCain has to wish he were back on that stage at Saddleback Church. After escaping from the "cone of silence," he could inspire the crowd once again with his rock solid anti-abortion stance.
Of course, he could also impress the conservative crowd with his tolerance. After all, he strongly believes life begins at conception, yet he tours the country with pro-choice former Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Lieberman and Tom Ridge, the pro-choice former Pennsylvania governor and Homeland Security chief.
Rush Limbaugh has already threatened that if McCain chooses a pro-choice running mate he "will have effectively destroyed the Republican Party and pushed the conservative movement into the bleachers."
Limbaugh pointed out that the reason McCain was perceived so positively at the Saddleback Civil Forum was because he iterated conservative beliefs to a conservative crowd.
Choosing a pro-choice, or otherwise liberal-minded, running mate would basically demonstrate that those were merely empty words to impress the church folk.
However, the McCain train hasn't been derailed by all of these revelations, allegations and aberrations.
According to the some recent polls, he has opened up a five-point lead over Barack Obama.
That happened despite Time magazine choosing Obama as its cover boy for the seventh time this campaign season.
If Obama's silver lining continues to tarnish and McCain's nose continues to grow, many voters will find themselves checking out the platforms of Ralph Nader and Bob Barr.
I've seen student council elections run more professionally -- and more successfully -- than these two voter repellants.
Watch for voter apathy numbers to climb as both parties frustrate those who are trying to pick a candidate worthy of their support.